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My Favorite Quotes of Senator Kennedy

Sen. John Kennedy (R-La.) has been variously described as homespun, folksy, down to earth, hilarious, snarky, irascible, and a host of other complimentary or disparaging adjectives, but rarely as an Oxford-educated lawyer, which he is. His examination of witnesses in front of the Senate committees of which he is a member, and his interviews on television, make for some of the most amusing and withering television in America. Here of some of his best quotes:

“Always Follow your heart.....but take your brains with you”
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy

“Americans are thinking, there are some good members of Congress but we can’t figure out what they are good for. Others are thinking, how did these morons make it through the birth canal.”
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy

“Be yourself' is the worst advice you can give to some people.”
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy

“Christmas ornaments, picture frames and Jeffery Epstein. Name three things that don't hang themselves.”
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy

“Chuck Schumer just moo’s and follows Nancy Pelosi into the cow chute.”
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy

“Democrats are running around like they found a hair in their biscuit.”
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy

“Don’t stand between a dog and a fire hydrant.”
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy

“Dumb enough for twins.
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy

“Dumb enough to be a twin of himself.”
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy

“Either you’re so dumb you lose your place during sex, or you want to cheat”.”
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy

“Go sell your crazy somewhere else...we are all stocked up here.
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy

“I keep trying to see Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer’s point of view, but I can’t seem to get my head that far up my ass.”
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy

“I keep trying to see Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer's point of view, but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy

“I will not let you down, I’d rather drink weed killer”
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy

“It appears that he might do the right thing, but only when closely supervised and cornered like a rat.”
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy

“It must suck to be that dumb”
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy

“It’s as dead as four o’clock
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy

“Just because you CAN sing doesn’t mean you should.
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy

“Only dead fish go with the flow.”
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy

“Our country was founded by geniuses, but it’s being run by idiots.”
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy

“Sen. John Kennedy (R., La.) said on Wednesday that he trusted Middle Eastern countries as much as gas station sushi, with the exception being Israel.”
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy

“Senator John Kennedy from Louisiana describes Democrats as the “well intended arugula and tofu crowd.”
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy

“Senator John Kennedy on Nancy Pelosi, “She can strut sitting down!”
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy

“She has a Billy goat brain and a mockingbird mouth!”
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy

“The difference between men and dogs is dogs don't allow the dumbest and most inept members to become leaders of the pack.”
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy

“The short answer is ‘No.’ The long answer is ‘Hell No.’”
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy

“The withdrawal in Afghanistan looked like a ferret fire drill!”
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy

“This election in Ga will be the most important in history, you have nothing to worry about unless you are a tax payer, parent, gun owner, cop, person of faith, or an unborn baby!”
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy

“This has been going on since Moby Dick was a minnow.
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy

“This is why space aliens won’t talk to us.”
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy

“We don’t need to send in the clowns! They are already here!”
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy

“What planet did you parachute in from?
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy

“When the Portland mayor’s IQ gets to 75, he oughta sell.”
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy

“Why are we giving American tax dollars to countries that hate us? They should be able to hate us for Free!”
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy

“You can get a goat to climb a tree, but you’d be better off hiring a squirrel.”
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy

“You can only be young once, but you can always be immature.
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy

“You can put perfume on a pig, but it still stinks!”
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy

Comment about Cuomo lecturing us.  "It is like a frog calling you ugly"
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy

In response to Biden's energy policy: Senator John Kennedy then gave a folksy analogy to describe Biden’s energy policy: “Ainsley, I used to have a beagle named Roger. And Roger was a rascal. About every two weeks, Roger would run off. He’d always come back but about half the time he’d come back dragging roadkill that he would hide under my back porch. President Biden’s energy policy looks like and smells like something Roger used to keep under my back porch.”
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy

On Nancy Pelosi: “She can strut sitting down!”
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy

Referencing the Democrats $2 trillion infrastructure bill and the projects it will pay for- “They’re asking us to get in the van but they aren’t showing us the candy!”
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy

Sen. John Kennedy (R-La.) released the following statement in response to President Joe Biden’s State of the Union Address.:

“I'm an eternal optimist, but I am also a committed realist, and the fact is that the Biden administration has been breathtakingly awful. President Biden has mismanaged Congress. He’s mismanaged COVID. He’s mismanaged the economy. He’s mismanaged inflation. He’s mismanaged the national debt, the border, crime. He’s mismanaged Afghanistan. He’s mismanaged the wars in Ukraine and the Middle East.”

“He’s mismanaged China. He’s embraced cancel culture. He’s treated parents like domestic terrorists, and his administration has foolishly, foolishly sacrificed America’s energy independence.

“Tonight, the president voiced some pretty words in his State of the Union speech, and he tried to tell us that the state of the union is good and that he has done a good job, and any fair-minded American knows that that is not true.”

“Any fair-minded American knows that the guiding principle of this administration has been, ‘Let's do the dumbest thing possible that won't work.’ That is the unvarnished truth, and the American people deserve better.”