The Personal Website of Mark W. Dawson

My Favorite Quotes of Mark Twain

Mark Twain a.k.a. Samuel Langhorne Clemens (November 30, 1835 – April 21, 1910), known by his pen name Mark Twain, was an American writer, humorist, entrepreneur, publisher, and lecturer. He was lauded as the "greatest humorist the United States has produced," and William Faulkner called him "the father of American literature". His novels include The Adventures of Tom Sawyer (1876) and its sequel, the Adventures of Huckleberry Finn (1884), the latter often called "The Great American Novel". Twain was born shortly after an appearance of Halley's Comet, and he predicted that he would "go out with it" as well; he died the day after the comet made its closest approach to the Earth.

Many of his quotes on society and life are apropos to America today. These are some of my favorites:

“A pessimist is a well-informed optimist.”
 - Mark Twain

“Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.”
 - Mark Twain

“Censorship is telling a man he can't have a steak just because a baby can't chew it.”
 - Mark Twain

“Data is like garbage. You'd better know what you are going to do with it before you collect it.”
 - Mark Twain

“Do the right thing. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest.”
 - Mark Twain

“Don't wrestle with pigs. You both get dirty and the pig likes it.”
 - Mark Twain

“Education is what you must acquire without any interference from your schooling.”
 - Mark Twain

“Few things are more irritating than when someone who is wrong is also very effective in making his point.”
 - Mark Twain

“Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.”
 - Mark Twain

“Good decisions come from experience. Experience comes from making bad decisions.”
 - Mark Twain

“Good judgement is the result of experience and experience the result of bad judgement.”
 - Mark Twain

“Great things can happen when you don't care who gets the credit.”
 - Mark Twain

“I was educated once - it took me years to get over it.”
 - Mark Twain

“If ignorance is bliss, why isn't the world happier?”
 - Mark Twain

“If we were meant to talk more than listen, we would have two mouths and one ear.”
 - Mark Twain

“If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.”
 - Mark Twain

“If you have no will to change it, you have no right to criticize it.”
 - Mark Twain

“If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.”
 - Mark Twain

“If you want to change the future, you must change what you're doing in the present.”
 - Mark Twain

“If your only tool is a hammer, everything starts to look like a nail.”
 - Mark Twain

“It's better to be an optimist who is sometimes wrong than a pessimist who is always right”
 - Mark Twain

“Just because you’re taught that something’s right and everyone believes it’s right, it don’t make it right.”
 - Mark Twain

“Laws control the lesser man... Right conduct controls the greater one.”
 - Mark Twain

“Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.”
 - Mark Twain

“Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.”
 - Mark Twain

“Never have a battle of wits with an unarmed person.”
 - Mark Twain

“Never miss an opportunity to shut up.”
 - Mark Twain

“No amount of evidence will ever persuade an idiot”
 - Mark Twain

“No man's life, liberty, or property are safe while the legislature is in session.”
 - Mark Twain

“Our lives, our liberty, and our property are never in greater danger than when Congress is in session.”
 - Mark Twain

“Some people get an education without going to college. The rest get it after they get out.”
 - Mark Twain

“Success is a journey, not a destination. It requires constant effort, vigilance and reevaluation.”
 - Mark Twain

“Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself.”
 - Mark Twain

“Temper is what gets most of us into trouble. Pride is what keeps us there.”
 - Mark Twain

“The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.”
 - Mark Twain

“The more I learn about people, the more I like my dog.”
 - Mark Twain

“The nation is divided, half patriots and half traitors, and no man can tell which from which.”
 - Mark Twain

“The older I get, the more clearly I remember things that never happened.”
 - Mark Twain

“The secret of getting ahead is getting started”
 - Mark Twain

“The secret of getting ahead is getting started. The secret of getting started is breaking your complex overwhelming tasks into small manageable tasks, and starting on the first one.”
 - Mark Twain

“The trouble with the world is not that people know too little; it's that they know so many things that just aren't so.”
 - Mark Twain

“The truth hurts, but silence kills.”
 - Mark Twain

“There are laws to protect the freedom of the press's speech, but none that are worth anything to protect the people from the press”
 - Mark Twain

“There is no security in life, only opportunity.”
 - Mark Twain

“They did not know it was impossible so they did it”
 - Mark Twain

“Those who do not read have no advantage over those who cannot read.”
 - Mark Twain

“When I was 17, my father was so stupid, I didn't want to be seen with him in public. When I was 24, I was amazed at how much the old man had learned in just 7 years.”
 - Mark Twain

“When the doctrine of allegiance to party can utterly up-end a man's moral constitution and make a temporary fool of him besides, what excuse are you going to offer for preaching it, teaching it, extending it, perpetuating it? Shall you say, the best good of the country demands allegiance to party? Shall you also say it demands that a man kick his truth and his conscience into the gutter, and become a mouthing lunatic, besides?”
 - Mark Twain

“When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.”
 - Mark Twain

“Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.”
 - Mark Twain