The Personal Website of Mark W. Dawson

Eulogies

A Short Eulogy

Today we are gathered here to commemorate the life of Dave Simpson. My thoughts on his life come from a great poem by John Donne; “For whom the bell tolls”:

No man is an island,
Entire of itself.
Each is a piece of the continent,
A part of the main.
If a clod be washed away by the sea,
Europe is the less.
As well as if a promontory were.
As well as if a manor of thine own
Or of thine friends were.
Each man's death diminishes me,
For I am involved in mankind.
Therefore, send not to know
For whom the bell tolls,
For it tolls for thee.

Today the Bell Tolls for Dave Simpson, and for all the loved ones and friends of Dave Simpson, as well as of all of mankind for having lost a man such as Dave Simpson.

But Dave is not truly dead. For whenever we think of him and we remember the love, companionship, good times, music, intellect, and humor he brought into our lives he is not dead. If a big smile crosses our faces, as well as having a feeling a warmth in our hearts when we think of Dave, he cannot be truly dead. For as we think of him in this manner a piece of him has lived on inside of us, and we knew this to be true for all the departed that left behind loved ones and friends that remember them in such a manner.

So today we should not be mourning the death of Dave Simpson, but it is instead it is the time to celebrate the life of Dave Simpson. So, let us celebrate the life of Dave Simpson with love and remembrance, friendship, good stories, music, intellect, and humor.

May Peace Be Upon You - A Full Eulogy

My name is Mark Dawson, and I did not know the deceased personally but knew him rather through his daughter Kathleen. I first met Kathleen several years ago when the company she worked for merged with another company, for which I was the computer geek. I soon discovered the Kathy is a fine, intelligent and very nice person, and a pleasure to work with. This is a testament to the love and upbringing of her father, as well as her mother. So, I cannot eulogize her father, but I can discuss the meaning of his life and of his death, and perhaps provide some comfort to his loved ones. I shall do this by relating stories of my own life, as well as from the Bible.

My first thoughts on his life come from a great poem by John Donne; For whom the bell tolls:

No man is an island,
Entire of itself.
Each is a piece of the continent,
A part of the main.
If a clod be washed away by the sea,
Europe is the less.
As well as if a promontory were.
As well as if a manor of thine own
Or of thine friends were.
Each man's death diminishes me,
For I am involved in mankind.
Therefore, send not to know
For whom the bell tolls,
For it tolls for thee.

Today the Bell Tolls for Kathy's father, and for all the loved ones and friends of Kathy's father, as well as of all of mankind for having lost a man such as Kathy's father. But as we all are human, we all have human fears and concerns about death. It is these fears and concerns that I wish to discuss. The fear of dying, the fear of the impact of our death on our loved ones, the concern of life after death, and our concern if we can be forgiven for our sins.

We all have a fear of dying, about what will come next, and what will happen to our families. But death comes to us all, for it is the last act of life. Death comes in many forms: old age, disease, accident, violence, etc., but it will come, as no one escapes this world alive. To rage against death is to rage against life, which is a waste of time and energy. Time and energy that could be better utilized in trying to remain alive, or coming to peace with our loved ones about our imminent death. I have personally experienced the death of my father, one of my sisters, my in-laws, and my brother-in-law as they were close members of my family who have died. I miss all of them, but accept the fact that they have met their inevitable end. And this is how it should be. For the death of an individual means the ultimate respite from the trials, tribulations, and possible pain and sufferings of living. It also is a passing on of the torch of life to the living.

I myself have experienced the immanence of my own death as when I was a very young man I laid on my possible deathbed for two days. I was suffering severe abdominal pains for several days for which I was treating myself with antacids. As the pain increased I decide it was time to visit my doctor, who informed me that I probably had acute appendicitis, and I need to go to the nearest emergency room. Once there the doctor ordered an emergency appendectomy which was done immediately. Upon waking up several hours after the operation my doctor informed me that my appendix had not only erupted but had exploded. Pieces of my appendix were spread about my abdomen , along with the peritonitis poisoning, and they were unsure if they were able to remove most or all of the pieces. It would take 24 to 48 hours to determine if they were successful, and during that time-frame there was a chance that I may die.

I was of course very upset about this, as I was a young man just starting my adult life and career, had never been in love, I would have no chance of marriage or family, and all the other joys of a long and well-spent life. I was angry and filled with self-pity of all I had to lose by dying. But the anger and self-pity subsided, and I realized my energies were better spent fighting for my life. And if I lost the fight I needed to accept that my death was the last act of my life, and that was all that was left for me. Needless to say, I won my fight, but I lost my fear of death, and I have accepted death as the last act of life. So, I say to all of you that you should fight to stay alive, do what you can to ease the pain and worry of your loved ones, make your peace with your loved ones, but accept your death when it comes - and be not afraid.

Be Not Afraid, a phrase that appears in the Bible 365 times, once for every day of the year, reminds us to trust ourselves into the care of the Lord. This is best expressed in a psalm by an ancient Israel Shepard boy, tending to his sheep on a hillside. This boy would grow up to be the greatest King of Israel, but his greatest contribution to humanity is the 23rd Psalm, which is recited hundreds of thousands of times a day worldwide.

The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
He leads me beside quiet waters, He restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness for His name's sake.
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil, for You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.
Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life,
And I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.
Amen.

We are also concerned with what happens to us after death. Interestingly, Jesus only spoke once about life after death, and he said: "My Father’s house has many rooms, and one is being prepared for you". If you believe in the Lord and a life hereafter you know that a room has been prepared for you in the Kingdom of Heaven.

We are also concerned about if we can be forgiven our sins, and occupy that room in the Kingdom of Heaven. To that concern, I would tell you a tale from the New Testament about Saul of Tarsus.

Saul of Tarsus was a devout Jew who lived during the times of the teaching of Christ and his disciples, and after the death of Christ. Saul was also a Roman tax collector. Roman tax collectors were some of the most feared and despised people in the Roman Empire. This was because a tax collector had ultimate authority on what you owed the Roman Empire. A tax collector could come to your village, determine what he thought you owed, seizure possessions as payment, sometimes seize your house and sell it as payment, could banish you if he thought you were a cheat, and even sometimes have you whipped or executed. Saul thought he was protecting the Jewish people from the Roman Empire by making sure the proper amounts of taxes were collected. In reality, Saul was an evil man and, who thought he was doing good for is people.

Saul was responsible for collecting taxes in northern Israel and southern Syria. During his travels, he came across to groups of Jewish people who were practicing the principles of Jesus Christ. Saul thought that this was blasphemous, and he became determined to stamp out Christianity whenever he encountered it. He utilized his power as a Roman tax collector to seize all the possessions of Christians and then have been banished. In some cases, he had been whipped or executed. His reputation spread throughout Israel, and especially Christians, of a man to be feared and avoided.

One day Saul heard of a group of Christians who are practicing in a Syrian village. He determined to stamp out these Christians and proceeded to travel to their village of Damascus. Along the way to Damascus a great storm grew, black clouds covered the sky, and thunder and lightning were everywhere. As the people of that time had no scientific knowledge of the nature of storms they often attributed them to the anger of God. Saul was greatly afraid of the storm, and thought that he had angered God, and prayed to God to save and forgive him. The storm subsided, and the black clouds parted with a great ray of light, and Saul had a vision of God sitting on his throne, with Jesus Christ at his side. Then Saul heard God speak to him saying "Saul, Saul why do you persecute my people. They only wish to love me through my son Jesus Christ." And the storm departed from the sky to reveal a clear and beautiful day. After hearing and seeing this Saul became greatly troubled, and decided he needed to learn more about the teachings of Jesus Christ. Rather than go to Damascus he proceeded to Jerusalem. There he found Joseph, the brother of Christ, and a group of Christians praying in congregation. He identified himself to them and told them that God had spoken to him, and he wishes to learn more about the teachings of Jesus Christ. The Christians present were very fearful, as they were concerned that Saul was trying to trick them into revealing all the believers so that he could persecute them.

They argued amongst themselves as to whether they should admit Saul or turn him away. Joseph reminded them of the teachings of Christ to love one another as themselves and to forgive those as they would ask forgiveness for themselves. It was decided to allow Saul into the congregation. Saul spent the next several months learning the teachings of Jesus Christ, and became a Christian, and was baptized into the Church of Christ. He then decided that he wanted to preach the word of Jesus Christ, but knew he could not do so as Saul of Tarsus, as people would be fearful and not listen to him, or even flee from his presence. He, therefore, changed his name to Paul, who we now refer to as Paul the Apostle, a founder of the Christian religion, and the namesake of St. Peter and St. Paul Cathedral in Rome.

In Paul's teachings of the words of Jesus Christ throughout the Roman world, he was often approached by many who confess their sins and great misdeeds, if not evils, asking how they could be forgiven for their acts. Paul reminded them that the teachings of Jesus Christ preach that God was a loving and forgiving God. He would tell them his own story, and then he told them if God could forgive such an evil person as he was, and not only forgive him but make him a leader of the teachings of Jesus Christ, he could forgive them their sins. You only needed to sincerely repent, make amends as possible for your sins, and live a good moral life from that point forward, and God could forgive you. He also reminded them of the Old Testament saying "For the judgments of the Lord are true and just". When they meet their maker after death God will know what is truly in their heart, and forgive them, or punish them, as is true and just.

I relate this tale for you so that those of you who may have grievously sinned, have committed misdeeds in which you are greatly pained, or done evil, that if you repent and lead a good life forward you can be forgiven by God. If you should repent and live a good moral life thereafter you should also forgive yourself, as you hope that God will forgive you, and not being pained by what you have done in the past. And remember that Jesus has taught us that our Lord is a loving and forgiving Lord, and he can forgive us our sins. When you finally meet your maker, he will know what is in your heart, and he will properly judge you, and decide whether you are to be forgiven or punished. But remember when this happens, that in the Bible it states that "For the Judgments of the Lord are true and just", and you must accept what God has decided. But you can be comforted in the knowledge that if God can forgive you and that he will forgive you, and will welcome you into his kingdom.

Death came to me again in a personal manner many years later through my in-laws. My Mother and Father In-law were some of the most loving and kind people I have ever met. They loved me like a son, and I loved them as if they were my own parents. One day my father-in-law started to complain that he felt ill. This was a vibrant man who had never been sick a day in his life, and the last time he had seen a doctor was when he was being mustered out of the Army at the end of World War II. My wife immediately took him to her mothers’ doctor, who immediately had him admitted to the hospital emergency room. There they diagnosed him with cancer of the bile ducts and performed surgery to bypass his bile ducts. They then transferred him to the Fox Chase Cancer Center for additional treatment. There my wife and I met his doctor, a world-renowned cancer of the bile duct doctor, who informed us that this form of cancer was always fatal. Untreated he could live for three to six months, but with chemotherapy, he may last six to nine months, and perhaps a few weeks more. They started his treatment, and six weeks later they released him back to the hospital, which would then set up home care for him in our house. They had to release him to my wife's and my home care because a few days before his release from the hospital my mother-in-law had suffered a fall on the sidewalk of her house, and was being admitted to the same hospital for treatment. Three days after her admittance she passed away from organ failure due to complications caused by her closet diabetes being activated by the fall. In a period of six weeks, my wife and I went from having loving and vibrant parents, to her father being terminally ill, and her mother having died. My father-in-law lasted sixteen months before he passed away under the care of my wife and hospice at our home. And in the end, when he finished refighting his battles with the demons and frustrations of his life, the only thing that mattered to him was the love and presence of his daughter, myself, and our daughter. When the end finally came I could see that peace was upon him as he passed away, knowing of the love of his family and friends. My wife commented that she had seen that same look of peace on her mother’s face, as she stood by her side as she died.

Several weeks after both my in-laws had passed away my wife mentioned to me that what she missed the most was being able to phone or visit her mom and dad so that she could talk to them. At this point, I remember the movie "Oh, God!". In this movie, God (George Burns) appears to an assistant grocery manager (John Denver) as a good-natured old man. The Almighty selects John Denver as his messenger of love and hope for the modern world. A very charming and entertaining movie that would be well worth your while viewing. At the end of this movie, George Burns appears to John Denver at a public park to inform him he was leaving and would not return. John Denver lamented that he would miss talking to God, at which point George Burns leans over to John Denver and says "Tell you what, you talk, and I'll listen". So if you ever feel the need to talk to someone who has departed, I'm pretty sure they will be listening.

In the years after my in-laws passed away, I have thought of them often and many times. Whenever I think of them I remember the love, companionship, good times, and humor they brought into my life, and a big smile crosses my face, as well as a warmth in my heart. I soon realized that as long as I thought of them in this manner they were not truly dead, but a piece of them lived on inside of me. And I knew this to be true for all the departed that left behind loved ones that remember them in such a manner.

Christians all over the world have many rituals and ceremonies. But all Christians, be they Catholic, Protestant, Orthodox, or Non-Denominational have one ritual in common. The Communion of the taking of the bread and wine to celebrate the Body, Blood, and Life of Jesus Christ. At the end of this ritual the leader of the Communion, may they be a Priest, Minister, or Lay Leader, raise their hands above the congregation and declare "May the Peace of God that passes all understanding be with you all".

The Jewish people have a tradition in regard to mourning a loved one. They sit Shiva with their family and friends to mourn the death of the loved one. But once Shiva has concluded they are no longer allowed the mourn the death of the loved one. They may be saddened by the death, but mourning is not allowed. So, I say to you in this tradition that the time of mourning of Kathy's fathers’ death should be over. It is instead the time to celebrate the Life, Love, Friendship, Humor and Good Times of Kathy's father. So now I say unto you "May the Peace of God that passes all understanding be with you all", knowing that Kathy's father lives on in his room in Gods house and that he also lives on within the hearts of all that loved and knew him. Let us now start the celebration of Kathy's fathers’ life with love and remembrance, friendship, good stories, humor, and with the food and drink laid out before us.

Thank you for your consideration of my words, and may peace be upon you.